New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
