He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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