went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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