he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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