Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
