I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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