tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
