JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
