Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
He did a backflip because drugs
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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