But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
what day is it and did you see me today?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
