I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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