We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
