she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
