Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
