i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
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