that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
