She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
