She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
