Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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