Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
