Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
