is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
my poor anus
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
