google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
He better not be in your backpack
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
