so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
