You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
