how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
