shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
