Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
