my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
