My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
