me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
its liver damage thursday
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