Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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