I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
