Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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