He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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