Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
