In the future we'll all be gay
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
