Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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