its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
