I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
