It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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