Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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