she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
