Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
