You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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