well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
