I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
