guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
