and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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