You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
