i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
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