Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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