I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
smell my finger.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
